“Yo dawg, you heard about dis ‘Swine Flu’ shit?”
“Hell yeah, man. I heard it’s hard to tell between it and the regular flu.”
Tim and Jorel walked down the busy city street, headed to their local convenience store. Tim was in need of cigarettes, and had his hands in his jean pockets to try and keep them from shaking. It was his third time trying to quit.
“Nigga, you know-”
“Don’t say that.” Tim cut Jorel off.
“Huh? Oh, my bad. Anyway, you know startin’ your smoking again ain’t gonna help you not get this Swine Flu thing.”
“I know, man, I know. I can’t help it, though. Maybe I should look into those nicotine patches or whatever.”
“Definitely. ‘s how I stopped.” The two stopped in front of the convenience store, the shopkeeper spraying the dingy windows liberally with glass cleaner before wiping them down. The door jingled as they walked inside. “Grab your cigs, I gotta run to the bathroom.”
Tim nodded and walked around and grabbed a bottle of water, then strode to the counter. The shopkeeper noticed and hurried over. “Will this be all, my friend?” he asked in an Indian accent, his green shirt spotted with window cleaner.
“Can you grab me a pack of menthols, too?” Tim asked, placing the water down.
“Cert-”
“JESUS CHRIST!” The bellow echoed from the bathroom. Tim and the shopkeeper rushed into the men’s room to find Jorel staring into the mirror above the sink in shock, sporting a pig’s snout.
“Holy shit, dude!” Tim exclaimed, jaw dropping.
The shopkeeper shook his head. “Another one with Swine Flu. Come, let us get you to a hospital.”
“Aw man, THIS is the Swine Flu? I thought it was an actual flu!” Jorel complained, touching his new snout tenderly.
“That’s not all, man. Check out your butt.” Tim said, trying to hide a smile.
Jorel looked behind him, and saw a pig’s tail poking out from his jeans. “Aw, damn, man.”
Tim sniggered.
“This ain’t funny.”
“Sorry.” Tim tried to regain his composure.
The shopkeeper led Jorel out into the store itself. “This is not the first time it has happened here. The doctors should be able to fix you up with some medication, and you will be fine in a few days.”
“Man, I hope so. My girl won’t be too happy to see me like this.”
“I’ll bet she’ll get a kick out of it after the shock wears off.” Tim said.
“Fuck you.”
Tim just chuckled.
Jorel looked away. “Okay, maybe ’s a little funny.”